Pocket Size
by obsessedwithstabler
Summary: Alex Eames is having a bad day...


Okay, so I was thinking about when Eames was pregnant, and I thought of how hormonal I've seen some women when they're pregnant. And this came to me! So enjoy, and please remember to review!

Disclaimer: They ain't mine... I guess being a senior has no pull with Wolf... (sigh)

Thanks go out to Confused for daring me to write certain aspects of this. And since I never back down from a dare...

Alex Eames was having a bad day. She always knew that she was short, and that was something that she had just become used to. What she lacked in height, she more than made up for in attitude. But today, she was more conscious of her small statute than she had ever been in her life, and the fact that she could no longer see her feet made it even worse.

All she wanted to do was go home, curl up under a thick blanket beside the fire, and sleep for a year. No wonder bears hibernated all winter. It sounded downright wonderful. With a sigh, she waddled over to her desk, then slowly lowered herself down into the chair.

Bobby was in one of the interrogation rooms, and being as far along as she was, she was resigned to desk duty for the next two weeks, until she went on official maternity leave. So all she could do was sit at her desk and do paperwork. Wonderful.

A few feet away, several of the detectives were chatting and laughing, and Alex's ears perked up at the mention of hers and Bobby's last names. The newest addition to the squad, Matthew Porter, was laughing obnoxiously, and Alex had the urge to throw her hands over her ears as the laughter continued.

"… it's so obvious. Why doesn't Goren just pick her up and put her in his pocket?" Porter asked obnoxiously, and the rest of the group laughed. Alex, however, was seeing red. She had had enough.

With a snarl, she pushed herself out of her chair and waddled as fast as she could over to the group. The detectives who saw her coming ducked out of the way of the five foot four inch and very pregnant hurricane of a detective, and the only one left was Porter.

He just happened to turn his head in time to see the fist coming at him, and the next thing he knew, he was on the floor and seeing stars.

Bobby walked into the bullpen to a very strange sight. His petite and very pregnant partner was rubbing the knuckles of her right fist, and the new detective was lying on his back, looking very confused. He put two and two together and quickly jogged over to Alex, looking down at her as he said, "Alex? What the…?" He didn't finish the sentence, but the tears in her eyes said it all.

With a small sigh, he swept her up in his arms and held her against his chest, rubbing circles into her back as she cried into his shoulder. "What's wrong, Alex?" he asked softly as the wounded detective scurried to his feet and disappeared. She sniffled and grasped the front of his jacket in her fists. "I'm huge, I can't work, he was mean to me, and I can't see my feet!" she wailed miserably, and it was all he could do not to laugh.

Instead, he continued to run his hands over her back and softly shush her, until she had stopped sobbing, and all he could hear was an occasional hiccupping breath.

The rest of the squad was eyeing them warily, and he waved them off with his hand, then dipped his head down and said, "Alex, why don't you let me take you home, okay? You can take a nice hot bath, I'll make anything you want for dinner, then I'll rub your feet. How does that sound?"

She snuffled. "Even chicken and whipped cream?" she asked, and he chuckled.

"Even chicken and whipped cream." He moved to wrap one arm around her waist, pulling her coat over her shoulders with the other. Then he pulled his jacket on and tucked her into it, keeping his arm securely around her waist. Feeling safe and warm, Alex snuggled into his side and allowed him to guide her out of the precinct.

Everyone watched them go, and once they were gone, Mike Logan turned to Porter, who was nursing his rapidly swelling eye. With a deep chuckle, Mike said, "And that's about as close to "in his pocket" you'll ever see her, newbie."

Porter just rolled his good eye and walked away, leaving behind a very amused Mike Logan.

The End

A/N: Hee hee, cute, huh? And yes, she was pregnant with Bobby's baby, in case anyone's wondering. Review, please!


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